So I'm home from Vegas.

I don't think I have loved and hated a job so much in my life. Going out to Vegas was INCREDIBLE. For three days, I worked at Caesar's Palace, Las Vegas. I walked to work every morning amongst a crowd of people rushing the street and wondering what I did and who I was. (Little did they know I'm a "peon" lol) It's a snapshot of people peeking at you in business clothing with a folder in your hand as they walk by with their casino Mardi Gras beads hanging around their neck and hundreds of dollars in their wallets ready to be dumped into a machine, at a table, for a show, or in a gift shop. They, ultimately, are the people I work for and their money says "entertain me."

In Vegas, the five casinos we own are HUGE and all surrounding a certain area. So, as you look around, especially knowing our numbers and company, it's amazing to know that at least 65% of those people are our loyal customers. All they want from you is to keep them wrapped in the illusion that it's all a fun game, and the faces are friendly. Your job is to help them relax and have the fun they're seeking. They want to be somewhere they feel comfortable. It's why most of them chose to use us as a temporary escape. It's the ones that use it as a permanent escape that are the problems.

So anyway, I was staying at the Flamingo and walking across to Caesar's every day. The corporate offices are GORGEOUS. You walk through the casino with it's fake Greek Statues and blue sky. You pass a lot of their shops, bars, and theaters, and then you take these extravagent elevators up into the towers of the hotel. You press one of three long and different buttons. The numbers 1 to 35 are above them, waiting for the occupants of the rooms within their floors. The long button lights up, "M- Mezzazine Level. Corporate Offices." You walk out onto a floor with higher ceilings that any other. You walk past a trophy case, a leather chair, a coffee table-sized piece of marble with a clear, square, glass bowl filled with blue-colored glass stones inside it. You open theses HUGE glass door with gold handles and white scrolling lettering on them.

The room is so large. There's one desk in it. It's more of a tall wrap-around, wooden counter though. It has office trinkets on it and is very organizes. There's a black phone/intercom and sitting behind it in a black leather chair is a woman with perfect make-up and a friendly smile. In the same room, the part where it narrows, a few yards from her desk, there are square couches and shairs. Across from it is a table set up with a few perfectly clean coffee machines, boxes of filters, and brown wicker baskets of every specially flavored tea and coffee you could imagine.

You walk through another set of the huge glass doors with the gold handles. Then it's down a loooong, wide hallway to another door, this one solid. That's corporate retail. There's a small conference office, a set of bathrooms, and then another door with a key-code and intercom. You open the door and sitting there is everyone I've every e-mailed about a serious aspect of my job. People that trained me in the beginning. The people who get things done for me. They're good people, and they are all smiling and welcoming. Still, they hold an unspoken strength about them that says "I like you. I really do, but if ever I don't, know I could throw you to the wolves without a second thought." Well, I'm a part of their team. They're just at the head of the pack. That's where I'm going. With the strongest, with the people who get things done and make things happen.

We met with our vendor, Kalifano. He's not like the people who work for Harrah's. He could never be. He can't put on the attitude, which I love. Even though I put it on, it's easy to get lost in before too long. He could never be anything but a genuine man. A good man, a quiet man, a modest man who somehow seems to hold a fierce business presence. He has a small business, and a tiny staff, but his production levels are HUGE. He's generous, caring, and fun. Besides he gave me three pieces of REAL pearl and gemstone jewelry for free! He gave me another piece for $20. All as a "Thank-you" for something I'm not even a part of yet. We went to a private dining room at the Four Seasons in the Vegas Hampton Inn. We took pictures with the Vegas sign. We went to the Fashion Show Mall. We walked around Caesar's. We got breakfast drinks at a cafe'. We had a great discussion over lunch. REAL conversation about things that matter, like what life is like in other places. Bosnia, Italy, Ireland, Poland, Palestine, and South Africa. I saw a beautiful painting of Medina in his office later. It's the second most holy city in Islam, where Muhammed is buried.

::Sigh:: good day. The other days were good too. Lots of meetings with buyers, and other people from corporate. Mostly the buyers, though. The one day was full of them. The next day it was the people in our warehouse-like distribution center, our operations manager, and our visual director. All people I work or will work with in a one-on-one capacity. I came back with so much more knowledge about the way my job works, and how I could be really taking control of things on my property, and in my situation. I wish I would have gone to EIS AFTER Vegas. I think I'll just refresh my memory with the binders. I need to "study up" a little bit. I've never been a hard worker. I've never REALLY studied too hard. The fact that I'm so motivated with this is incredible to me. Well, maybe it's because it has REAL results that help make an impact on my life personally.

So on top of all that work...there's love in my life again. Isaac makes me so happy. I don't think I get across to him most times just how much he means to me. I don't want it to feel forced though. I do love him...it's just developing. I feel like things moved fast in some ways, but are otherwise moving SO SLOW that I can't stand it. Then again, it's only been about a month officially, and two months total.

He's a good man. Honest, hard-working, and a big kid. Gorgeous, so absolutely gorgeous, and sexy as hell. His voice sends chills through my body and puts a smile on my face. He kisses me like he really loves me. He said that one time, softly, "Kiss me like you love me." ::sigh:: Up until then I hadn't, even though I'd felt it. He knew it was there, and he wanted me to stop hiding from it. He said exactly what he needed to in order to get me to open up my heart to him, even for the briefest moment in time. He proved to himself what he knew was true, that I was falling in love with him as much as he was with me.

He really WANTS me around. He looks so happy when we run into each other at work. He wants me to come over. He cares about me. He doesn't ask me to stay the night even though he wants to have me there. He knows I have to get home, and he makes sure I do safely. He's protective of me. A few times though, he has asked me to stay. He knows I might catch hell from my parents, especially for being with him, so most nights he just takes my hand in his, after we've procrastinated long enough, and walks me to my car to give me a kiss goodnight.

I want to give him everything. I want to have a life with him in it. We'll see though. When it comes to relationships, there's been things I've wanted in the past I haven't gotten...or at least haven't gotten to keep. Who says that I'll get what I want this time? This time, what I want is Isaac. Without any doubts in my mind.

See, this is no good because now all I want is to go to slip into bed and curl up with him. I can't! He's not here. :-( ::Sigh:: I need my own place, soon, and badly.

I applied for a loan. If it comes through, I can make that dream a reality. If not, CitiFinancial here I come. If that doesn't work, then I just have to wait until Dec/Jan sometime. ::sigh:: I hate the waiting. I don't want to wait for the next step. I'm ready for it now, I want it now.

Oh and I haven't heard back about Chuck's yet. I want to go pretty badly, but I dunno if that Saturday will be approved or not. I don't see why it wouldn't be. Saturday is our most fully-staffed day and I'm the first and only one who put in for it that day. We'll see.

Ok. To bed with me.